Thursday, April 13, 2017

After the last post, I've been thinking off and on about the various authors that have influenced me as both a writer and reader over the years. 

I remember the first time I discovered an author whose voice grabbed my attention and held it to the point that I had to go to the library and seek out anything I could find of hers. I remember the first thrill of falling into another world through the words of another, then feeling crushed when I had to return to my own at the book's end. 

It's a powerful thing to find someone who seems to put to words that which you have not yet been able to yourself. To recognize yourself in the voice of another, like finding a resonating tone to the one you already hear. It's also powerful to discover one you did not know even existed, thereby shifting your range even further and growing not only as a reader or writer, but also as an individual. 

It is for this reason that I wanted to list (for the sake of space) a top ten, each one representing a facet of my own voice that their work has inspired or awakened. Like a literary lineage tree, each author has in one form or another presented a turning point in my own writing, personal perspective or creative process. To honor the literary voices that bring clarity to your own is not only an exercise in recognition of those who inspired you, but also a reflection of how you utilized that inspiration. 

It's an ever-going process, and I am thrilled as the list continues to grow. That's part of the magic of listening to (or in this case reading) storytellers, for each thread they spin can become part of the larger picture that you then sew. 

Top Ten Literary Inspirations and the Work that First Hooked Me
(in no particular order)

  • Charlotte Bronte - "Jane Eyre"
  • Ernest Hemingway - "Now I Lay Me"
  • Mark Twain - "An Innocent Abroad"
  • G.K. Chesterton - "The Man Who Was Thursday"
  • Susanna Clarke - "Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell"
  • Kathryn Lasky - "Beyond the Burning Times"
  • Diana Gabaldon - The Outlander Series
  • Janet Evanovich - The Stephanie Plum Series
  • Agatha Christie - "Crooked House"
  • Philip Pullman - His Dark Materials Trilogy 


Monday, April 10, 2017

The Bee at the Door

There are some moments that you just don't know what to make of. The logical mind would say coincidence is keeping life interesting, ancestors might say that a message was being sent through circumstance, even the spiritual of today might find purpose or hidden meaning in the event of the unexpected. 

My own take in these moments is to apply any and all perspectives, not just to maintain balance in my own response, but to also genuinely consider the possible origins. 

I had such a moment this morning, and I'm taking it for what it was: A very interesting, entertaining, slightly creepy, but wonderful surprise. 

I woke early this morning with the sun rising, feeling like someone was standing outside my bedroom door. Now, on most mornings I'd assume it was my husband in the middle of getting set for his day, but I knew that he'd already left. My next consideration was perhaps my son had gotten up early, so I pulled myself out of my bed and pattered over to the door and opened it. 

At first I didn't see anything other than our two cats staring up me with looks of alarm and curiosity on their faces, then I saw a small dark figure that seemed to be looking up at me from the threshold of my door. Still a bit bleary eyed with sleep, I bent low and reached out a hand to touch it, thinking it was likely a piece of massed fuzz or something else the cats had batted toward the door. 
It was not.

As it took form in front of me, my eyes finally sharpening to their normal focus, I realized that it was a massive bumblebee, and I mean massive. Not quite queen-level, but large enough.  
My first thought was to catch it and release it in my yard, so I did, not being able to see where it went into the grass as is the case with most insect catch-and-release moments (always leaving you wondering whether they made it safely away or perhaps slipped and reentered your home). In this case, I had gone far enough out into the yard to know that it had not come back in.

As I reentered the house, a thought occurred to me that left me both reeling and laughing. As I've said in past posts, I'm currently working on a book, a story about a place where the Otherworld and our own intersects. One of the very last things I'd written in my story was about a door that appeared (that shouldn't have) with an iron doorknob that depicted a golden bee welded onto it. The door had been knocked, but there had been no direct response. And yet here I was, finding a bee at my own door.

Between that and the curious role that bees play in my book (added to the fact that bees are not due to be seen in our area for another month), this moment was a very entertaining surprise, and not one that I'm entirely willing to lose the magic of. 

Mere coincidence, a visit from the Otherworld, or sheer strange timing, I'm happy with all options, but there is no denying that this was a very interesting morning. 

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Writing Habits

It's funny how stories just creep up on you. Like a voice on the breeze, you listen to make sense of it, and then all of a sudden you find yourself diving headlong into a world you never knew existed. 

At the moment, I am finding myself in such a situation. Last week I'd been setting up the finer points of the sequel that I've been working on when I suddenly found myself tuned in to a whole other station, as it were. Now, a solid week later, and I've already managed to produce the first ten chapters of this completely new story, and I find it nearly impossible to pull myself away long enough to do much else. 


In fact, yesterday was the first time in the last week that I felt anything remotely related to writer's pause. And in the spirit of all that such a predicament brings to a person who is entirely devoted to a story that doesn't seem willing to loosen its hold, I thought it might be fun to share some of the methods I use to either get out of writer's pause or avoid it altogether. 



  1. Daily Writing
    Developing a habit of jotting something down, no matter the context, has been probably the most beneficial tool in my personal writing arsenal.
    Whether blogging once a day, writing in a journal, or simply taking five to ten minutes just to free write, it not only helps develop and keep momentum, but it allows for the opportunity to sharpen vocabulary, practice expression and organize thought.
  2. Organize the Inner Chaos
    I'm not sure about others who may read this, and it's perfectly alright if this doesn't do it for you, but I'm a bit of neat freak. I LOVE organization. I find it a great exercise in mindfulness as well as stress relief.
    Now, between having two children and a husband who don't share this personality quirk, I have an almost endless supply of small projects that can either distract or calm me. If I'm finding myself in a bit of a writing rut, what I'll often do is take five to ten minutes just to tidy, make a bed, or do the dishes.
    It takes me out of my head for the moment, allowing a more natural flow of thought to emerge that, more often than not, leads to a bit of a dam breakage in terms of ideas and potential dialogue.
    It's simple, mindless in a good way, and will usually leave your space and mind reset and primed.
  3. Music
    I have a rather large and eccentrically varied music library that I turn to when writing. I'll often have several playlists put together, depending on the mood I might want to infuse my writing with.
    Aside from using it as emotional or mental inspiration, it also provides an excellent source of disembodiment. When I write, and really get going, it's like my mind and fingers are in a synchronized dance that I happen to be viewing from a third party perspective. Music acts like a shamanic tempo for my mind, harnessing and directing it in a way to allows my thoughts to open and flow out onto the page or computer screen.
    It doesn't matter what it is you're listening to, so long as it keeps fueling the fire in your mind, and if one song begins to fade, simply shift over to another.
  4. Reading
    I know this one might be extremely subjective, if not a little controversial among writers. The main concern regarding reading while working on a project is the fear of accidentally copying or adopting the voice of the other author. It really is one of those things that you have to discover on your own whether or not it helps or hinders your work.
    In my personal case, I find it helps. I'll typically have some sort of easy going book on the side that I can turn to like a palette cleanser, nothing too heavy or time consuming.
    Part of the joy of reading is that it helps expand your mind and means of expression. Like traveling to other cultures or societies, the voice of another author can act as a reflecting agent, helping you grow and shape your own into its own unique creation. The wider the variety, the better, but again, it's up to the individual when and where these exercises occur.
  5. When All Else Fails, Have a Cup of Tea
    I'm personally addicted to black tea. I'll probably come to regret this later on when my teeth act as color-guard for my habit, but it's something that truly brings me peace and focus.
    It doesn't have to be an actual cup of tea either, just something that you know you can (safely) turn to that brings a sense of calm and collection.
    In my own case, having a hot mug to hold onto helps establish that it is time to write, time to imagine, or time to open my mind. I'll admit that a lot of cups of tea have gone as accidental sacrifice to the caffeine gods over the years (left alone and forgotten in the midst of a typing storm), but the act of making the tea and then having it nearby is a great means of prepping and settling into the moment.

    I hope something of this list has been of use, or entertainment at the very least.

    I'll aim to write more frequently again as the book I'm working on comes to a close in the next week or so. 

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

I recently began writing what will be a sequel to the book I am currently trying to get published. I had always assumed that the next part wouldn't come to mind until I had the solid knowledge that the first would be picked up, but like a lot of things, it had a mind of its own. So now I find myself waking in the morning and (stubbornly) falling asleep at night, once again caught in a whirlwind of images and dialogue. 

I can be sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea and minding my own business, when all of a sudden there were be a character's voice ringing out, demanding to be recorded, or a scene played out before my eyes as though on a mental reel. The only way I can really describe the process of writing these stories is to compare it to a field journalist following around a group of people, scrambling to record everything seen and heard as fast as possible before they wander off again. These stories are theirs, and I'm merely around as record keeper. 

It's been almost eight years since I first sat down to my computer and felt the beginnings of a story spark from my fingertips. I had just had my son and found myself finally being able to bridge the gap between imagination and expression. I'd always wanted to write, and did so here and there since I was eight years old, but never before had I been able to sit myself down and allow a world to unfold at the stroke of a key to this degree. 

The first story poured from me, and then, nothing. I wrote it, I got it out. Then I set it aside and life continued. Over the years I'd edit here and there, share it with beta readers, and gather what I could in terms of response and feedback. I'm one of those terribly odd people who absolutely thrives on constructive criticism and actively seeks out (genuine) critique so that I can spot areas in need of improvement and growth. It's the critique that opens discussion, encourages dialogue, and that's always been a significant part of why I love to write. I love to communicate and to explore different elements of thought and life, and a great source of this type of dimension is through varied perspective. 

So now I once again find myself sitting before the laptop, stumbling after the characters that have been a part of my life for nearly a decade. As this new part of the story will continue to manifest, I welcome the added color it shall bring to the long and exciting (if not outright daunting) process of venturing into the world of publishing. 


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Diremption

Hello everyone! Very exciting news to share!

I was very kindly given a spot in the Creative Writing section of Elan Vital Magazine where they have published my short story, "Diremption" (a dreamscape).

It is a wonderful magazine that offers a platform for a variety of artistic endeavors, so please check them out! 


Of Value

Of all the elements of my childhood to survive into adulthood, my imagination has easily been one of, if not the most, valuable. 

The ability to see something before your eyes, and then see through it, even beyond it, is a precious gift. There were many days as a child that I sought refuge in the ability to watch the physical world around me melt away. Like shedding a skin that no longer fit, each time I ventured further into my mind and found myself physically walking a path that did not exist to another, I found not only freedom but solace and knowledge of the self. 

To discover a new world before me was to discover a new world within me. I found new facets of myself and was able to find platforms with which to explore those facets. 

Exposure to books, music, and nature was like taking a whetstone to my mind, and like casting light through a prism, each source brought forth a multitude of experiences and opportunities to learn and understand not only myself, but also the world as it appeared to be. 

Through these exercises in escape and exploration, I found myself appreciating the varying shades of life around me. The way a simple shift in perspective can greatly differentiate between hues, and in turn know that no matter how brilliant or dull one may appear to me, there is no way to see the same color through another's eyes. 

Imagination was a means of pulling me through time and space, through the worlds and words of others, and bursting through boundaries set by those who would rather confine and control than venture to step on new ground. 

To imagine is to travel, to journey, and like all other aspects of the mind, the ability to do so is unique to the individual. Imagination is inherently incomparable, that is what makes it so precious. One may imagine through vision, others through words, even through means yet to be conveyed by human communication. One is not superior to another, nor is it inferior. It is simply what it is needed to be, not by direction or description of another, but by necessity of the individual and the mind which seeks to use it as the tool that it is. 

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Ember and Ash

Today I remembered dance. I felt the movements echo within my muscles, reawakening energy that has laid dormant, even afraid. 

It's been nearly half a year since I felt myself begin to disintegrate. Like watching the embers of a dying fire drift out into the air, I saw the remnants of who I had been rise and vanish before my eyes. Something hidden had been punctured through the actions of another, releasing the agony of the ghosts of my former selves out into the blistering light. 

It has not been a swift purge. No sudden flash igniting the remains of a long dead past, but a slow and steady burn. Charring me from the inside out and scorching against the ragged marks of nails scratched from within, desperately seeking liberation from the entombment of my darkest memories. 

Though the initial cremation is ending, I now face the healing of the raw and new self coming into being. The time for mourning the old has passed, gone away in the ashes and tears that littered the path behind me. 

I may remain dormant for some time still; safely encased as I am reintroduced to my world as it is now, and not as it was then. Likewise, this time granted to me by the very virtue of having survived this transformation offers the space to reacquaint myself with who I am now, out from under the shadow of who I was then. 

Memories can echo from bone just as easily as they can from sight or smell. As they rise like smoke from a fire long gone, it is only natural to acknowledge the beauty as well as the despair that may emerge in these final breaths. Like smoke, it does not do to inhale these spectres, and so as they rise I watch them go. The wonderful, and the ghastly. 

Now as I feel a new energy striking a spark somewhere within the confines of my sanctuary, my muscles reawaken in memory. My steps may not be what they had been, and my dance may form from the reverberation of those that came before it, but I can feel music coursing through me again, and like ashes to a wind, I must move with it. 

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Caught in the Echo Chamber

Why is it that so many find it such a great task to find validation in their own worth, existence, or production? Granted, there are also those who never seem to cease in finding reason to call to attention to each and every success, but even in those instances, are they truly celebrating their self worth or simply using a louder projection in order to seek validation of their efforts?

Humans are naturally multifaceted beings, which in turn brings out the natural curiosity as to how others may perceive the many sides and faces that produce an individual. Though we may be multifaceted, however, we're not all reflective, and to treat one another as a mirror not only permeates a wrongful truth about yourself, but also about them as well. To regard one another as true independent beings is to also regard yourself as one. It is understandable as an action in regards to needing to meet on a common ground, but in terms of seeking reflection, why look for your own face in someone else?

With today's seemingly never-ending platforms at hand, we have a much larger expanse within which to explore not only ourselves but also our world as a whole. Producing our own projections of reality as well as being (theoretically) receptive of others'. This is a wonderful opportunity to learn, grow, and communicate with those who may never have had a voice or ear before. But often instead of allowing for this truly symbiotic exchange to occur, it would seem the relative safety and pseudo-comfort of merely projecting in the hopes of receiving a response solely related to said projection takes precedence. 


Perhaps in these instances, we're not seeking actual reflection, but an echo of our own voice carried on the wind, reverberating and coming back as though from an outside source. In doing this, are we waiting for the echo of our own perception or merely hoping to hear the resonating proof of others beyond our own range? 


Whereas in the past the only means of receiving such an echo came from a vicinity likened to that of a small hill at best, today our carrying range is akin to standing atop a mountain and calling out into the clouds. The echos and voices which may return are inherently scattered, nameless, and of unknown origin. If in seeking validation we cannot fully trust our own voice, how can we put so much trust into those who have never seen the actual ground we stand upon? 

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Floating

It's amazing what a release of strain it can be to move with the undercurrent of life. Not being swept away by it, not being tossed in opposition to it, but genuinely moving with it.

This is not to say the undercurrent holds only hues of negativity. Strain can follow in the wake of the positive just as well, but often people can become so caught up in the sense of difference from the more easily recognizable negative that they cling to it. Though a relief, this mental and emotional intoxication can also blind and numb the perception of reality that may be necessary for the placement of the next sure step.

The positive and the negative should be able to move in and out of life with the same ease as inhaling and then exhaling. Like breath, these moments are necessary to move forward, to think, to feel, to live. However, if you held onto any of these beyond their necessary purpose, like holding a breath, it can become toxic. 

It's natural to experience each moment, even savor it. The good and the bad offer lessons, reprieve, joy, pain, acknowledgement and reinforcement of existing as a being. So why cling to one for any longer than is necessary? To do so would be to hold it for longer than it may be effective, essentially depriving it as well as you of that initial nourishment. It may also delay or hinder the ability to recognize or  even appreciate the next moment. At its worse, it may even breed fear of its potential loss, when in reality it has already gone. 

There is nothing wrong with loving a moment which brings joy just as there is nothing wrong with surviving through a moment of anguish. But these moments are here and then they are not, and to cling to something beautiful or to something ugly is nothing more than grasping for something solid in an endless sea of emptiness. 

There is understandable fear in letting go of the notion of the need for something for support, for connection, and for stability. Like clinging to the wall of a pool or a floating support in the middle of the water. The fear to sink, to be forgotten, to be overcome by the open expanse around you can bring you to dig your fingernails deeper into anything that offers the ability to float. 

By clinging to these objects, these moments, good or bad, you seek confirmation in the idea of needing something to stay above the water. 

But if all attention and fear is dedicated to these distractions, how will you ever remember that you can swim?

Monday, March 6, 2017

A Vision Dream

I emerge from the mouth of a snake. I see the eyes of a corpse roll to the back of its head, its skin and flesh pulled upwards from its feet and skull. I sit on a rock in prostration where the snake had been and feel my own skin and flesh pulled from me like a cloth over my head. A beaked entity stretches my skin like a hide across a frame and scrapes it raw with its talons.

I sit as a skeleton on the rock, then fall backwards out of myself as a new body. I make jewelry from the fingers and hands and wear them across my breasts and place the skull atop my own head. I gather the bones and throw them into a fire before the rock, lighting up the cave that I now stand within.

I dance, and as I dance, bone-deep cuts appear on my upper arms and ankles, like bands so cleanly cut that no blood pours out. I feel my flesh once again be pulled from myself, this time not as a singular piece, but in solid chunks, like one pulling meat from a bone. First my arms, then my legs, then my torso, and finally my skull. Standing as a bare skeleton, I step into the fire and sit in the embers, allowing the fire to consume my bones, turning them black and crushing them into ash.

The fire dies and I emerge from the ashes crawling toward the mouth of the cave. I pull myself through into a mist covered charnel ground. I have been here before. It is flanked by two mountain peaks; the ground is cold and made of ash and bone.

I stumble like a newborn animal across the stretch of the grounds to the edge of the cliff where a man in plain brown robes stands. He turns to face me and I see a face that I recognize but cannot name. He has black hair that pulls backward and down his neck, he has a mustache which falls on either side of his mouth, with a small bristled beard beneath. His forehead slopes slightly forward, giving his features an overall mask-like form. He pulls me forward and throws me through the air.

I soar through the mist and into a dense and green forest. I sail through it as though it is merely a passageway, emerging into open air on the other side. I fly through the clouds high in the mountains, everything is grey, cold, and crisp.

I see the clouds part, revealing a sanctuary built into the side of a peak with gravel and rock just beneath it. I land and stare up at what appears to be a deserted place. It is well decorated, but faded, empty and yet echoing a life that once lived within its walls.

I turn to find the man in the brown robe behind me grinning that mask-like grin. He holds his arm out to the sanctuary, closes his fist and pulls his arm down through the air, subsequently demolishing the building off the face of the mountain.

I stare at him as though in asking why. He sits on the gravel and I sit across from him. Without his lips moving, he explains that a building, no matter how holy, is like a body. And that a body, no matter its existence, is holy. But the two are alike most in that they house, they are containers, and therefore are subsequently empty in their nature. Without the light within, a building is nothing more than a shell. Without the essence within, a body is nothing more than a shell.

He removes his face to reveal a red, gold, and black wrathful one beneath, continuing to grin. Then removes this to reveal a tangled and writhing creature of pain, disease, and suffering, its bright green eyes rolling in agony. I reach forward to help, asking what I can do to relieve its pain. The tentacles writhe and fly toward me as though to attach themselves. A voice from within says that I must learn to act in compassion without becoming part of the suffering itself. It will attach like a leech, feeding the internal agony of the one, while feasting upon and depleting the other.

I straighten my back and return to the writhing creature, mindful of presenting compassion without opening myself as a vessel to be ingested, or to ingest in turn. The tentacles writhe manically across my chest and shoulders, seeking to latch on but to no avail.

I lean back into a seated position and the creature is pulled out of the robes, vanishing in the air and revealing the first face once again. This one does not seem like a mask, but like skin and bones.
He smiles at me, no longer grinning.

Emptiness, he says, is an existence. It, like air, can be contained, but does not have to become the container. Like the sanctuary had once been a grand display of accomplishment, it was nothing more than a container for something of a formless nature. Life and purpose moved through the building like air through the lungs. Always present, yet always changing and in constant movement. It is not stagnant, and to become stagnant is to become contained. With containment comes comfort, and in this comfort you can rot without knowing.

It is natural to be in one form, and then to not. It does not mean there is no existence, only that existence in and of itself is boundless. To be free to move in and out, one must understand the nature of the shackles which bind them and hold them enclosed. Existence is not meant to be sealed, but it gains great benefit from being formed, and it is in these forms that action, benefit, and compassion can be transmitted. Without form, you are existence.



He reaches to the top of his head which the skull meets, and in one swift motion splits his body into two, each side falling away like the shells of an egg, revealing nothingness. The robes pile before me and the body becomes ash, spreading itself across the ground. The wind pulls me to my feet and sends me flying back through the clouds and I awake in bed. 

Friday, March 3, 2017

Turning with the Wheel

With my birthday weekend upon me, I find myself once again looking within to feel what changes have occurred over the years as well as to consider those yet to come. 

My personal nature has always held a strong connection with the notion of impermanence; the chaotic, yet guaranteed reality of change, and welcomes it like a comforting embrace. Like water, I thrive on movement, change, and seeking new pathways yet to be forged. When caught in pockets of my own life where I find stagnation has taken hold, I tend toward introspective suspension or thrash about in desperation (quiet or otherwise) in the hopes of regaining or creating that inherent sense of mobility. Whether crashing through and over, or slowly but surely wearing away, barriers are temporary to water, and it is usually in these moments, whether in patience or action, that water exhibits its true natural strength. 

With another year come and gone, and one new looming on the horizon, I continue to move with the wheel, changing with the seasons and finding rebirth in the sweetest or most trying of times. Some shifts are easier than others, but all remind me of the endurance of impermanence, and so with every barrier, every change, every fall, I reemerge once again whole, renewed, and bearing the knowledge and strength of my previous forms. 

Whether coursing through the earth, rising as steam pulled from a heated source, or falling from the sky, water continues, and so shall I. 

Monday, February 27, 2017

Midnight Static

Insomnia has the peculiar ability to seize and ultimately enhance the human capacity for roaming thought. Like static hanging in the air, it brings to attention the ironic crackling energy that permeates an otherwise restful and silent reality.

A point of reflection tonight seems to be in regards to religious identity. Unlike most of my late night tendencies for contemplation, however, I know the stem of this particular train of thought, and in turn, its root. 

As part of an introspective exercise, my son was instructed to learn more about the religious identity and customs held within the family. The purpose of the exercise was to help establish not only a religious identity for the child, but to also give them the opportunity to reflect and explore what that identity may mean or define for them. Being taken slightly aback, though nonetheless willing and enthusiastic to be of help in this exercise, I suddenly found myself in the role of spiritual tour-guide.

While I was raised Buddhist and my husband a declared Agnostic, neither of us have ever believed it to be of necessity to impart any religious beliefs or conditioning to our children beyond the scope of their own personal curiosity or expressed desire. I've always held spiritual belief to be of immense value regardless of its form or name, but have also always been very aware and respectful of the mass diversity of spiritual and religious calling. Much to my son's delight, this range of interest in religion has equipped me over the years with a wide array of books, items, and knowledge eager to be shared and discussed.

As much as I would like to say that it is a profoundly human desire to be connected to existence and to subsequently understand its nature, I can't honestly make that claim as I do not, and feel I cannot, speak for anyone (or anything) besides myself. It was in this point that I found the root to my approach in sharing spiritual and religious knowledge with my son. 

Part of the beauty of religious belief is that the exploration and study of its inherent variety of thought and perspective can become comparable to that of doing so with language. There have been and will continue to be innumerable languages throughout human existence, and while some are related or have outright borrowed from one another, there is something intrinsically unique to the application of a language's own words. While simple aspects of life may be easily and agreeably translated (e.g. the color of the sky or whether something may be hot or cold to the touch), there are many more things that can escape the purpose of shared reality. Every language has its own way to describe emotional, physical, and spiritual experience, yet some have ways to transcend communication where others may be at a loss for words. Much like the exploration of linguistic variety, through the exploration of differing belief, you can discover and, in turn, identify your own inherent dogmatic language.

It is with this in mind that I hope to help my children, and myself, continue to find what it is that speaks truth to our individual hearts, minds and spirits. My own internal truth may not in fact be resonant with their own, but it will nonetheless be part of my duty as a mother, and honor as a fellow being, to find those shared words of acknowledgment and appreciation for whatever it is that brings light and empathy to their worlds.

Friday, February 24, 2017

A Waking Wind

Despite the beautifully bright weather today, my mind feels excessively clouded. Whether from the tail-end of the cold I've been battling or the sense of impending change, my mind absolutely cannot settle. I'll pick up a book and begin to read, only to find a page or so later that I've not only been completely oblivious to the words on the page, but equally so to the thoughts that are running through my mind. 

There is a strange sense of excitement without knowing the source, as though my mind has been filled with the buzzing and humming of a thousand worker bees sensing the beginning of spring.  

I suppose it could be a natural sense of restlessness brought on by the inhalation of the first breath of the wakening earth. Being on the cusp of change from the quiet and introspective calm of winter to the rush of newborn energy and inspiration of spring can do wonders to the mind, body and spirit. 

Winter's embrace loosens more and more each day, heralding the rapid approach of new beginnings. Those who have spent the cold months in dormant repose will likely respond to this shift like a wave of oxygen reawakening on a cellular level. For others who found themselves well protected in chrysalides, however, this shift may present itself as the first glimmer of light piercing through a secure confinement. Like standing on the edge of a great frozen lake, cracks in the ice are now forming, shooting out like couriers of transformation. 


For those who stand on the shore of that lake, the cracks in the ice mark the impending revelation of a new reflection, waiting beneath the surface. A question now hovering in the air; how will one greet the face that will look back?

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Hello to the Wandering Mind

Hello to the wandering mind that's happened upon this introduction!

My name is Evie Patterson, and I'm creating this space as a place of open communication not only with the world around me but myself as an individual. I have one of those minds that tends not to ever quiet down, always lost in some train of thought or ensnared by a sudden inspiration. Reflecting on the multifaceted reality that I find myself in a state of constant awe and contemplation of. 
I tend toward the use of writing and dance as my choice mediums for the expression and exploration of concepts that strike a chord within me, and so it is likely that these will play a large part of this blog. Fair warning, at times you may feel as though you've stepped on a stray bit of sod. 

For the sake of simplicity, however, and the enjoyment of listing (which I am very much a fan of), I thought a good introduction would be ten random facts about myself which might serve to illustrate some of my background and foundation as an individual.
  1. I was born and raised in the DC metro area which exposed me to a brilliant array of cultural, spiritual, and educational experiences.
  2. In school, my favorite subjects were history, anthropology and religious studies.
  3. My list of "Places to See" (aka my Wanderlust Check-List) is immense, though my current top five are the Isle of Skye, Varanasi, the Arctic circle, Dolgellau, and Vancouver.
  4. I grew up in a one-bedroom apartment with my family of five so the concept of sharing became essentially a law of physics in my life.
  5. My spiritual foundation as a child was a combination of Drikung-Kagyu and Nyingma Vajrayana Buddhism, however I consider myself an inherently spiritual being and find solidarity with numerous spiritual and religious sources from around the world.
  6. My ethnic background is Scandinavian, Slavic, British, Mediterranean, and Central Asian.
  7. Some of my favorite authors include Charlotte Bronte, G.K. Chesterton, Ernest Hemingway, Susanna Clarke, and Philip Pullman.
  8. I am extremely fond of British television/comedy (some favorites being Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, Blackadder, and Black Books).
  9. Tea is my default beverage.
  10. If I could have any super-power, it would be the ability to speak and understand every language in the history of humanity. 

I've always been somewhat socially awkward and shy in how to proceed in ending a particular train of thought. Not from a desire to necessarily call something to an end, but rather from the notion that nothing really ends. And so, for the time being, I'll pause in my musings and return when I've something more to say. What I've begun is something that likely will never truly end, but continue and reshape itself in its purpose of growth and momentum. What is written here will merely be marked checkpoints where an interlude was offered in the midst of transcendent roaming.